With days getting full of commitments and so many small things to do, we have the feeling of not having time to devote ourselves. But are we really sure we did not have it? Can we cut out some time for us? And to do what?
It may vary in detail, but in essence, the daily sequence of most of us is composed of repetitive actions. Our lives, in practice, tend to resemble a mad ride in a wheel of hamsters, and we often suspect that these rhythms are inevitable.
Some things are definitely unavoidable. If you have children, it is inevitable that you have to take care of them and adjust your time to them and to those in the school or sports associations. If you have a job, it is inevitable that you have to go to the workplace and spend your time on certain activities. Unless you live in a hotel or a quick grotto to clean, it is inevitable that you have to deal with your homework. And so on.
However, not everything that is part of our daily life is inevitable. One thing that certainly may be different is the way we approach everything we cannot avoid. Let’s mean: I’m not here to tell you that it’s all about giving up everything and going to live on a mountain hut (boredom!), But it’s possible to put aside all that’s more than we are given .
And I’m not just talking about delegating to others some of your commitments (which is, however, good and just for you at least), but rather starting to re-evaluate the way we usually do what we do: as it goes away from our lives and of our own happiness.
Who hesitates is lost
It comes to us that if what we do is a matter of life or death, even the smallest of the commitments assumes gargantuan proportions. And if we feel that we cannot stop or rest or be happy and satisfied if, before completing everything or arriving where we wanted to arrive, it is clear that we could rarely give us the luxury of appreciating ourselves and the moment we are staying.
We are always under pressure, overwhelmed by a huge pile of things-to-do and expectations about things-to-do. Moreover, more often than we realize, and just because of this heavy burden, we end up saying that we cannot even do the “how-to-do” the many things-to-do. If we are always agitated, worried, distracted, tired, how can we be really effective and efficient?
Stop? Why ever? No, this is too important! But if it’s too important, do not you just want to stop for a moment, refocus, and think about how to do it, rather than go ahead like robots?
If we do not stop, we also run a risk we are rarely aware of, namely to completely neglect our needs and desires but also not to be present at others, to whom we love and who care more about us. In the meantime we keep repeating that much of what we do we do it only for ourselves or for them.
To put it all, we have a great fear of stopping. The test is the tendency to fill every single moment with something to do. Apparently for the fear of getting bored, but in my opinion is the fear of silence and quiet. In the scary void where our thoughts are echoed.
Because we just drop the guard, here they come back to infest us all our worries, our anxieties, our fears, our grievances about who we are, what we do, where we are going. No: Better turn on TV, play Candy Crush, lazy slide through Facebook feed, open the fridge, and ingest. Everything, in order to fill the time.
So, let’s move from things-to-do-to-the-boredom, in an incessant sequel of actions to fill our lives. And then we say we do not have time.
And in all this, where are we? What do we really do for us? And the others? Are we for the others (outside of Facebook, I mean)?
“Let’s go” the time, but we do not live it.
Beyond the things-to-do, what we consider unavoidable, what does it take to occupy the short time available to us to do something else-to-do? What impulses push us to fill our lives so that we occasionally perceive it as “too full”, without a moment to refocus, and maybe even suffer from it? What brings us to fill our hourglass, and then ask where did the whole sand go?
When we are in the things-to-do, why not stop for a moment and see what we are doing, what are we trying, what are we thinking? Maybe, maybe so we might be able to take a slightly different perspective, be able to lighten the load that we add to things-to-do. See the mental traffic while we are in road traffic, and find out the effect it does. At work you have to go the same, you will not be able to avoid traffic, but who knows you do not find something different.
When we are about to do things-against-boredom, why not stop for a moment and find out what drives us to do something? What do you feel, what do you feel? Where are you at this moment, among the remorse and grudges of the past or between anxieties and things-to-do of the future? What emotions do you face? Can you stay in touch for a while? What do they say? Can you stay a few more seconds? What effect does it make? What happen? Even so, who knows not to find something different?
Ask yourself how many questions! I make you another (the last, promised!): Why not try it?
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing or feel the need to do, try to stop, close your eyes (not if you’re driving) and hear what’s going on at that time. Even for a minute, try to get in touch with what’s happening. Breathe, do nothing else, what you have to feel will come by yourself. And do not be afraid of what you will find, at most after that minute there will be no more and you will be able to come back to full immersion in the usual trance if you want.
One minute, and find out what’s happening. Take it as a game. Perhaps, minute by minute, we could figure out how to manage the time in our lives better.